Living Dead Girl
by Lady Sasshomaru
Summary: Kagome has been having strange dreams of Kikyo's death, making her realize how close the two really are and what it means to be a reincarnation of a powerful preistess. But what can the dreams mean? p.o.v. is most main charactersmstly Inu, Kag, and Kik


''Traitor! You traitor!''

That isn't my voice. What is going on?

I was lying on the ground, a searing pain tearing down my back. I could feel the blood running down my skin and seeping through my clothes. I was watching someone walk away, and realized it was Inuyasha. Why was he just leaving me here like this?

Hurt and betrayal began to creep into my heart, filling me with such anger and hatred as I had never known existed. Why was he doing this? I thought he loved me, I thought he wanted to be with me. How could I have ever let myself trust someone, letting them in my heart so easy?

I didn't know where these thoughts were coming from, but I didn't seem to care. I called upon all my strength and was able to get up to a kneeling position. It hurt my back every time I tried to move, but it didn't matter to me. I knew Inuyasha had the jewel, and I had to stop him. I had to act on my hatred, but not only for myself.

I managed to stand up, and stumbled through the woods to the shrine I was so familiar with. My vision was becoming blurred and my senses foggy, but I had to stop him, I couldn't let him harm the villagers and steal the jewel. I found my bow and arrow and sensed something moving fast. It was his aura. I moved to the direction it was heading to, the Sacred Tree. I had to go as fast as I could, knowing this was my only chance.

I stopped when I felt he was close enough. I took the arrow I had and strung it on the bow, ready to aim and shoot him down. I didn't understand why I wanted to hurt him so much, why I hated myself so much, but I had no time to think. He soon came into my vision and as he passed the tree, the same voice that wasn't mine called to him from my mouth.

''Inuyasha!'' and I released the arrow, watching it sail toward him. It hurt me more than I'd ever imagined to let go of that arrow, but I knew I had to. He turned his head toward me after hearing me call his name, but noticed my arrow too late. He had been struck in the shoulder, the force of the power in the arrow thrusting him back, pinning him to the Sacred Tree.

I watched his face as he stared back into my eyes. He looked as hurt as I felt. I was confused, why should he feel hurt, this was his own doing. But he reached his arm out to me, and it took all my strength not to go to him. The pain pulsating through me reminded me why I should not.

He said my name once before he passed into eternal unconsciousness. But my name wasn't Kikyo! Didn't he know who I was?

I remembered something fell from his hand when the arrow struck him, and went forward to see what it was, the blood leaving a trail behind me. There, before him, lay the completed Sacred Jewel. But why would he have this? Why was the jewel whole again?

I fell to my knees before it, feeling so weak and tired I could no longer stand. I reached for the jewel and lifted it up, looking at it in my hand. This was the reason for all of this, the reason I would lose my life this very day.

People from the village surrounded me, but I didn't know who they were, though I felt something familiar when they called my name. But why do they keep calling me Kikyo? Though I knew it wasn't my name, I felt like it was.

A little girl came up to me, kneeling before me. A bandage was wrapped around her head, covering her eye. I felt the same familiar feeling, but couldn't understand why she, too, called me Kikyo.

They all offered to help, but I could barely register what they were saying, so encased in my grief was I. I looked to the little girl and told her to burn the jewel with my body. They all clung onto false hope, believing I would live, but I alone seemed to accept my fate.

I looked at the jewel once more, feeling the power radiate off of it. I knew that if I wanted, I could wish on the jewel now, and live. The pain would go away, the jewel would be useless, and I would be free to live the way I wanted. I looked away from the jewel to Inuyasha then, pinned to the tree. I did hate him, but I knew that no matter what he done, no matter how much my heart hurt, I would always love him. The jewel would take away my physical pain, but could it heal the wounds my soul now carried? What did I want more, life as an ordinary woman, a life without the man I love, or to follow him into death?

The pain became too much to bear, and I clutched the jewel in my hand, knowing what my decision was. I began to fall onto the ground beneath me, and heard the little girl yell out my name once more before all went black.

It had been the same dream every night for the past 3 months, and I always woke up after hearing that girl scream Kikyo's name, keeping my eyes on Inuyasha as I fell. But where was this dream coming from? It wasn't just some random thing I could tell myself not to worry about. I hadn't dreamed about anything else, and the feelings and thoughts were so clear and vivid, as if I had gone through it myself. But that's what confused me; I had never been through anything like that.

I looked around the hut to see everyone still asleep, and realized it was still dark outside, not morning yet. I decided I wanted to go for a walk, thinking it might do me good since I knew I wouldn't be falling back asleep anytime soon.

I left Kaede's hut quietly, and began to walk through the village, heading in the direction of the Sacred Tree. That was where I met Inuyasha, where he had been pinned for 50 years by Kikyo's arrow. Wait, that's right. Kikyo was the one who pinned Inuyasha here, the day Naraku deceived them. The same thing happened in my dream, except it was me who shot the arrow. But maybe it wasn't. The voice that spoke was always more refined and mature, and everyone called me Kikyo. Could I be dreaming that I was Kikyo? But how? I wasn't there when everything happened, I don't even know anything except Inuyasha was bound there by Kikyo's arrow.

I realized I was standing underneath the tree and looked up into its long boughs and branches. This was the place where everything began, where Inuyasha and Kikyo parted and Kikyo lost her life. This is where I first met Inuyasha. This where I died with him in my dreams every night.

As I stood staring at the tree, I felt that overwhelming feeling of hatred creep into my heart again, but it was tinged with sadness that would grow and shrink inconsistently. I had only felt like this in my dreams, never when I was awake, and I wondered why this would happen now. Maybe it had something to do with the tree, seeing as how I hadn't come here like this since before my dreams started.

I turned to walk back to Kaede's hut, but thought I saw something move off to my left. It wasn't too large and moved fast. I looked more closely, and went towards it, sure that I must have been seeing things. But I saw the same thing move again, seemingly going in a circle around me. I started to get frightened that something was there that I couldn't see following me. I began to hear heavy but quick footsteps moving around me, going all over the place. It was in front of me and then ran to the side and behind me. I turned so my back wasn't to it, but it moved to my back again, so I was turning in

circles.

The fact that I had no idea what this thing was and that it was stalking me scared me more than if I had been able to see it. It's always the unknown that's most terrifying. The thing kept going in circles around me, but came closer each time. I closed my eyes and began to pray that Inuyasha would hear me scream in time when the creature attacked me.

I could hear my heart beat faster and faster, and thought it would burst through my chest any minuet. The footsteps came so close, that if I had opened my eyes I probably would have been able to see the owner of them better than just a shadow. I was about to yell out when they stopped all together. The trees and bushes surrounding me where quiet again, only the sound of my breathing could be heard. I kept wondering where that thing could have gone, what was it planning to do?

I opened my eyes slowly, expecting anything to be standing there, waiting to kill me. But when I opened my eyes, nothing was there. I was ready to run to the village or even the well, whichever direction my feet ran, but I was too afraid to move. That thing was playing games with me, messing with my mind. But why and what did it want from me?

I heard stick behind me snap, way too close for comfort and took off in the direction of the well. I ran as fast as I could, never looking back once, afraid of a terrible creature chasing after me, two feet away. I heard no footsteps behind me, but was still not about to slow down until I was on the other side of the well.

All of a sudden my toe hit a stone and the ground was no longer beneath me, but coming closer and closer to my face. I put my arms in front of me and landed on my elbows. I stood up quickly and turned, seeing nothing there. But I heard a branch above me move and saw the dark shadow again. I ran twice as fast as before, now knowing for certain I was being chased.

I came into the clearing were the well was, and saw my goal in sight. Just a few more feet and I would be safe. I could wait at home until Inuyasha came looking for me, which I knew would be soon. He would be angry; he always was when I went out by myself.

I was so close to the well, I had a few more steps left when something crashed down in front of me, blocking my way. I screamed and stopped so fast I fell again, falling to the ground shutting my eyes tight, waiting for my inevitable death.

''Damn! Do you always have to scream so loud?''

Wait, I knew that voice. Inuyasha!

I opened my eyes and looked up. There, standing before me in all his agitated glory, was Inuyasha. I felt so relieved at first, until I realized that he was the one following me and scaring me half to death.

''You jerk! What were you doing following me like that? What's wrong with you, you scared the wits outta me!''

''Well maybe that'll teach ya not to go off by yourself any more! How many times have I told you not to leave, especially at night, and you still don't listen. Stupid girl. What would you have done if I really has something trying to attack you?''

''Well...'' There was nothing I could say that would make this any better. He was right, but I wasn't going to admit that to him. ''Well you saw! I was trying to get to the well.''

''And look what happened! I cut you off before you got there!''

I stood there stuttering, trying to think of something to say but nothing was coming to mind.

''Now lets go, I don't like being out here.''

I watched him closely, why would he not like to be here? Was he afraid? He was looking off somewhere as he said it, and when I noticed and followed his eyes, I saw he was looking in the direction of the Sacred Tree. What would bother him about that?

But so much happened there. That was where he and Kikyo parted, where he was sealed for 50 years, and where Kikyo lost her life. Thinking about, it made a lot of sense he would be uncomfortable around that tree. I felt bad, but also jealous at the same time. He's always thinking of Kikyo, nothing could ever make him forget.

We both walked back to the village, not talking, lost in our own thoughts and hearts. It was daybreak when we got back, and the others were just waking up, as Inuyasha insisted we leave early the night before. But I couldn't leave yet, not without talking to Kaede. I needed to talk to her about this dream and feelings I've been having before we're gone for a month and I have no idea what's going on with me.

I found her taking out the black iron pot she used to make breakfast in, and saw this as my only chance as everyone else was outside getting ready.

''Kaede, I need to talk with you about something. Are you too busy right now?''

''Of course not, child. Tell me what ails ye.''

''I've been having a strange dream for a while now, and it's been the same thing every night. It seems so real, like I'm actually awake and going through everything that happens.''

''Tell me the dream and we'll see if we can't find the meaning of it.''

I began to describe my dream, everything that happened in it. Her face became so grave and startled halfway through, that I thought maybe I should stop, but I continued telling.

''And I have no idea where this might come from. Last night when I woke up I walked out to the Sacred Tree and began to feel the immense anger and sadness again, before Inuyasha came.''

''I don't think this dream is at all. I believe it is a memory.''

''A memory? How? That has never happened to me.''

''It is a memory imprinted on the soul from the time the event took place. What ye are dreaming and feeling, is the way Kikyo died.''

''It's Kikyo's memory?''

''Aye. Ye are her reincarnate, so ye possess her soul. Her violent untimely death has embedded itself into the soul, letting itself out in your dreams.''

''So that's why I got so angry when I was near the tree. It reminded Kikyo's soul of everything that happened there.''

''Aye. Her soul recognized that tree as the place where she died. ''

I finally understood everything about Kikyo. The way she felt about everything, how much it hurt her when she had to shoot the arrow at Inuyasha, how angry she was when she saw him walk away with the jewel in his hand. I had felt a sort of connection to her when I realized we were similar in our desire to be with Inuyasha, but I had never actually understood the bond we really shared. We were the same soul, but different people. I am not Kikyo, and Kikyo is not me, but we are the same.

I remembered all my past anger at her for always stealing Inuyasha away, for making him leave me and go to her, for coming back again when she didn't belong here anymore. I had never felt so ashamed of myself in my life until that moment. How could I be so cruel and hateful? I had never understood how much she loved him and how it killed her to do what she did. I had always thought it unnecessary for her to shoot Inuyasha with that arrow and pin him to the tree, but I had never seen it as courageous, as I had in that moment. She was doing what she had to do, never being allowed to do what her heart told her to.

I set out shortly after speaking with Kaede, withdrawing from the rest a bit, thinking to myself.


End file.
